Friendship vs Emotions

Here they were, as if they were changing how they looked in front of me, not realizing the perfect stranger that i am now, a version of me they themselves have not met before.. I realize that i am probably a stranger to myself, the up-to-minute me…

It is strange how long years of friendship between us and still we don’t know each other.. Forever guessing each other’s intent and not knowing when we had treaded on each other’s tails.. I guess part of it was my fault, not taking that shard of anger out and instead letting it fester into the friendship until it is now infected… But what good is there if i am miserable throughout the whole thing and feel as if they were out to torment me? Once they ask if whatever doing was OK and although it was not, i smiled and said “nope”.. Yet when i asked to be let off today, the answer was a “no” as well.. Guess i am too tired to play such games and the lacquer that separates my true feelings for them has been worn so thin that i show this anger of mine..

I know they feel guilty but i can no longer conceal these kind of craziness based on the fact that i would want this friendship to last..

排排坐

从前我们喜欢排排坐 争着嚷着吃着糖果
分不清楚时就都爬树去 谁爬得高谁分得最多
如今我们不吃糖果 甜蜜的话是听得太多
大家笑着争个死活 谁爬得高谁掌声最多

从前我们喜欢团团坐 猜谁的枕头里梦儿最多
说不清楚时就都捉迷藏去 谁藏得好谁掌声最多
如今话儿是兜个圈子说 猜谁的口袋里名片最多
你我都爱把眼泪藏起 谁藏得好谁掌声最多

从前我们喜欢一块儿坐 听着奶奶把她的故事说
奶奶说完了都到院子里去 看天上星星不停闪烁
如今人人都亲热得多 转过头就把你来数落
谁的心没有默默地痛过 满天星星地也疲倦得多

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~ by rojakgeekiness on September 2, 2007.

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